What did God design in marriage? Men would go out and select girls that catch their eyes and fancies. When you all did so, were you not fulfilling God's plan? The different girls listened to your toasting. Some ignored you. One accepted your sweet tongue.
Did those ones that agreed to marry do us a favor when they agreed to marry us?
When those initial girls refused your toast, did you not go get another girl?
Did you force this present one to marry you?
Did you both not know that God designed everyone's life this way?
Why should your sperm that took you energy and sweat to release become so unimportant? Did your wife say she didn't want to carry a pregnancy? Did you point the Avtomat Kalashnikova-47 to her head to secure her assent? Did she not feel happy when she became pregnant? Does that not mean you did her a favor by helping her and making her realize her womanhood? If she bore her father's name all the days of her life, do you think she would be happier that way? Didn't you think that she was bragging to other girls when her last name changed from her father's name to yours? Please spare me this theory that is different from what God set up. Your job is to love your wife. Her job is to submit to you. When she finally agreed to become your wife didn't that other girl regret losing you to her? Now, all of a sudden, you want to feel that she did you a favor to agree to become your wife. Listen: if you play the whimp she will see it and make you the whimp you have chosen to be. If you play the husband and take care of your responsibility as God designed it, she will see and call you 'lord' just as Sarah called Abraham "lord". Bring God into your life and be like Abraham. She will easily bring God into her life and be like Sarah. You will never regret it.